The Unexpected Journey of Becoming a Real Man

The hospital room was packed. Twenty-five people crowded around, witnessing the birth of a child. Most men would have been mortified, but not Kenneth. As his wife, a nurse practitioner, guided medical students through the intricacies of childbirth, he stood present, fully engaged, and completely at peace..

This moment was more than just a birth story. It was a powerful metaphor for Kenneth's life journey, a transformation from what he calls the "immature masculine" to a deeply authentic version of manhood.

The Turning Point

At 50 years old, Kenneth realized something was fundamentally wrong. His marriage was struggling, his relationships felt hollow, and he was carrying wounds from childhood that ran deeper than he'd ever acknowledged. "I didn't realize it until I was 50," he shares, his voice carrying both vulnerability and strength.

Growing up in an era that told boys to suppress their emotions, Kenneth had learned to wear masculinity like armor. "Don't cry," they'd say. "Be tough." But toughness isn't about suppressing feelings. It's really about having the courage to feel them deeply.

Redefining Masculinity

Forget the stereotypes of big trucks and stoic silence. True masculinity, according to Kenneth, is about five core qualities:

1. Radical Honesty: First with yourself, then with others

2. Integrity: Meaning what you say and following through

3. Emotional Presence: Being truly engaged, not just physically present

4. Self-Love: Caring for yourself without vanity

5. Vulnerability: Having the strength to show your true self

A Moment of Total Presence

Kenneth tells a story that captures the essence of mature masculinity. During a dinner date, surrounded by distractions, attractive waitresses, multiple TVs, endless potential interruptions, he made a choice. He looked only at his wife. He listened completely.

"I never took my eyes off her," he recalls. "I never stopped listening."

His wife was stunned. She talked about that moment for months—not because he did something extraordinary, but because true presence has become so rare.

The Deeper Work

Men's struggles, Kenneth believes, stem from a core wound: feeling unlovable. "Deep down, we carry around 'I'm not good enough,'" he explains. This manifests in addiction, avoidance, and disconnection.

The solution? Community. Mentorship. Coaching. Honest conversations with other men who refuse to accept surface-level responses.

To wives: Your husband needs your support, not your pity. Encourage his growth. Be specific about your needs.

To husbands: Learn to listen. Not to fix, but to understand. Feel deeply. Show up fully.

It's about becoming the man God created you to be, leading with compassion, integrity, and love.

"Do everything in your power," Kenneth advises, "and pray for your spouse. Make your relationship the priority. Kids are a beautiful gift, but they shouldn't overshadow your marriage."

As he reflects on his own journey - from a wounded boy to a mature, present father of six -Kenneth embodies a powerful truth: Masculinity isn't about being tough. It's about being real.

Listen to the full episode: https://loretowellness.podbean.com/e/8-inside-your-husband-s-head-understanding-masculinity-asking-for-the-support-you-need/